"my favorite joke of all time: you told me to write about you sometime, and I told you to read between the lines."

Julie Martinez (via writinqueen)

(Source: writinqueen)

doglets:

This shampoo was supposed to give my hair volume but I really can’t hear anything

obscurebourgeoisie:

don’t buy colgate whitening toothpaste

it says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days

15 days have come and gone

and i am still asian

(Source: quasidrome)

  • police: OPEN THE DOOR NOW
  • me: um not if you keep yelling

inories:

I need time for me, just me, no one else.

Ä